“I had a dream last night that I was Super-man I could fly all around, I flew my ex-girlfriend to the Moon to have sex because she still loved me… We breathed as one.”

“I’m coming back just for the snouts” (Mustache is Swiss)

“Leave my ear hairs they are part of my extra sensory system”

Smiles and laughter for Barry and The Cosmic Barber’s as the traffic rattles past, people often stopping either to stare, make strange hand signals… or to stop in for a good old fashioned chin wag, wig-chop and of course my favourite… the brain melting things people say.

One of the greatest brain melters I have met so far is strangely enough another Land Pirate. His Name is Arthur.

I forgot to tell you that we are parked at the present on one of our favorite streets in Vancouver, yes that’s right folks Main Street EAST SIDE!!! I’ll get back to Arthur in a moment.

You have to pack up, you cant be here…

Sorry who are you exactly?

My name is Ian I’m from the city of vancouver.

… Hi my name is Zach why do we have to move? We have paid parking!!!

I’m with the licenses and Inspections and you need a business license. We had a complaint from a local business.

We are not a business we are gifting for haircuts. We just swapped a haircut for a Swiss Army knife.

Oh you trade?…

Yes… Let me show you our signage.
    -TRIM YOUR LOCKS FOR A NEW PAIR OF SOCKS
We are not charging a price, we are non profit.

Oh I haven’t come across that before, I’ll have to look in to it.

Thanks Ian can you contact me and explain your findings and can I have your business card?

Sure.

Thanks mate have a nice day.

I continue cutting Aaron’s curls and discuss the previous conversation.
I think of the exposure of late. (CBC Radio, Co-op Radio and Barry’s new coat)

The city has finally taken notice I guess they don’t want to encourage people to gift instead of towing the line and paying the TAXES.

“I bet they send the Health department!”

I sip my coffee from Kafka’s turn and a pretty conservatively dressed Asian lady approaches… with a plastic seal of approval swinging on her slender neck. She is polite yet unhappy with us, ironic as today we were told about the forestry workers plight in Golden BC. (look into that story!)

Two old Italian gentlemen arrive in matching shirts and and trousers pulled far too high for good circulation and lean aggressively on the Vancouver sun newspaper stand. **Enter the local barber’s** “You cant do this we have been in business for 40 years”

Tumble weed rolls across my line of vision and I imagine the scissors glint ready to draw follicles. “We come in peace put your scissors away, we mean you no harm”

The local women sigh in relief, no blood will shed on this day… Oh how wrong I was…

Maybe our new strap line should be ‘By-laws? How are we meant to buy food?

First blood was drawn soon after the local Barbers left.

Captain Yom received a phone call from Bruce Peet the Property Use Inspector for Vancouver City Council stating that we were going to receive a hefty fine for not having a business license / Breaking By-laws and Health & safety were breathing heavily down our necks…Get this we asked for the appropriate documentation to be sent to us so we could fully understand why we were in trouble we had to argue just to receive an email.

I’d like to say to you Vancouver City:

Today I cut a kind and humble garbage collectors hair.

In show of gratitude he returned with two salad sandwiches.

If you have a problem with us gifting then you are more than welcome to our pickles and mustard…

We are more than happy to share!

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Enough about By-Laws and bullshit.

Sorry Arthur I was distracted by ‘the man’, It will be my pleasure to expand further on our brain melting conversations that I hold so dear… When I’m not distracted. Also a big sorry to all the great people we have been meeting on Main Street we love you guys, we had a ball gifting with you hope you crazy kids like your new do’s!!

Tomorrow we will plan to CUT HAIR FREE on a park near National and Maine!! The Banks Dogs will be attending for a jam and we are praying for a drum circle….So to all you drummers and musicians.. come one come all, no discrimination we love you all!!!

Let’s talk about what it actually means to live in a democratic society…

P.S I’m sorry to hear about the 12 year old boys  trying to raise money for their soccer uniforms by opening a lemonade stand set up in a park in Coquitlam  then being shut down by a By-Law officer. SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!! (never mind lads if you hear us we will gladly help out and don’t let this stupidity get you down.

Have you got a license for that blog?