Where do we start….

Nice to meet your moose but the Same-sun backpackers on Granville sucks a fat cheese curd with its un-friendly staff, its snail slow internet and bed bug infested dorm rooms. Anyway it was the first port of call in this foreign land of poutine and panhandlers. 

We met a young man called Ryan who shook hands in such a strange way, with more rhinestone’s on his jeans than you could poke a Little Wayne at… He pulled out his phone and proceeded to show us the Brazilian girl he spent the last nigh with. He said he was dynamite with the ladies because of his amazing smile. (Ben was so wasted he agreed) “I’ve always had this smile, I’m a crazy partier and I’ve always got this smile. I’ve been through some really hard shit and this smile got me through”… Ben, was a tall, long greasy haired Led Zeppelin loving pimply teenager who didn’t know what his skills were and at one point thought a pigeon was a dog. His Canadian Shazza friend rambled on about the city grid and directed us to the Vapor lounge on W Hastings St.

Vapor Lounge West Hastings 

The name is self explanatory. Great concept…comfortable couches, rad pinball machine but what the cuss is with the lighting… Its common knowledge that stoner’s hate bright lights… Bring on warm lamp shades and a wig wam in the corner perhaps… Hello we want ambiance dudes not 711 lighting we are not here to buy a fucking can of Smeat.. Volcano’s do rule though and thanks for the free pool lads. We complain and your entrance smells like cow poop but we always walk away happy.

The weeks fly pass as we foolishly try to re-install ourselves back into the city grid of doom and dept… Crappy jobs and a share room in a house full of people you rarely ever stay friends with and don’t really like… we have forgotten about Barry. The city starts to feed on our souls… Loved ones are deeply missed as well as a good coffee.

Templeton diner 

It has filled us with stomach love on a regular basis… This old school style diner wedged between a gross sex shop and stinky felafel joint is a favorite breakfast hangout for The Cosmic Barbers. We have met many cool locals eating at this diner, the deep old school booths with remote duke box selectors make for an intimate face filling affair. Gorgeous Danielle our favorite waitress makes the best milk shakes and Franks hot sauce on eggs will make your chipmunks do double back flips…….’ righeet ‘


Tom says - Farmers breakfast.  it’s ironic yet goood.


Zachariah says - Caesar with pickled asparagus ….oh Clamada how I love your salty goodness.

Songs for Rebecca

Yann Tiersen - Goodbye Lenin OST

The Album Leaf - Always for you

John Martyn - Glory box

The National - Slow show

Nina Simone - Here comes the sun

Rodriguez - To whom it may concern

Clarence Carter - Slip away almost famous OST

Nina Simone - Mr Bojangles

John Lennon - Oh Yoko

Bob Dylan - I want you

Van Morrison - Into the Mystic

Yo la tengo - Detouring america with horns

Buena Social Club - Dos Gardenias (song for getting married in the dessert on a donkey)

Edwyn Collins - A girl like you

Iggy Pop - Candy

The Cure - In between days

Depeche Mode - Useless

Smiths - This charming man

Danger mouse and Sparkle horse - Little girl

Modest Mouse - Float on

5 weeks later…

Wakey wakey hands off snakey. The Cosmic Barbers…. at the moment more like Cosmic Wankers! Fiddling around in the underpants of western society…

Finally we realise that we came here with a mission and getting back on ‘the grid’ was not part of that…

Barry must be found!!!

Stay tuned for our bloggy nose.

The Cosmic Barbers